TESTIMONY FROM: MEGAN E SMITH
My name is Megan Elizabeth Smith I’m 24 years old and have done 6 ½ years incarcerated for agg assault with a deadly weapon. Resulting in bodily injury 4 ½ years on the charge above 1 year in juvie and a year on various misdemeanors. I grew up in the system and it taught me to always trust my struggle. I was only a teenager when I was stabbed. “Homeboy” He was drunk and I called him a ginger being bullied as a kid must of made him snap and he stabbed me so I stabbed him. I re-acted before acting and hit his main artery. He died 4 times before finally pulling through.
Eight days later if it weren’t for my homeboys rushing him to the hospital saving his life and my ass he would of died 20 seconds later and I would be in prison a lot longer for killng him. Which were never my intentions. I just was blinded by eye for an eye thinking and violent by nature tendencies. My immature mindset impulsively took over my self-control and boom there you have it one night that I will never forget followed by many nights.
When I was arrested I sat in a holding cell without no contact via phone or inmate to inmate. The lead investigator coming in and telling me, I murdered my homie and was getting charged with murder because he wasn’t going to pull through. All I could think was I barely turned 18 and my life was already gone. He left me in there trying to get me to talk for the whole 8 days. They charged my homies who saved his life with felonies for accessory and that’s where I put my foot down and opened my mouth. My homies were not going to rot in a jail cell for saving his life. I confessed to stabbing him with the promise they dropped my homies charges. At 18 I already had a pretty long rap sheet and this was my 5th felony from previous ones. I was arrested at the age of 15 years old. A kid with adult charges. I’ve been arrested more years then I been alive since the age of 12 years old. I’m caught in a violent lifestyle in a circle that never ends. Finding loopholes your only way out.
In a court of law I have been called a hazard to others and myself. Stating the community would not benefit from my release. Ive been called a loss cause., heartless, cold blooded and concerns say I don’t have the ability to feel human emotion or to understand a feeling. If they only knew why I call myself a “gangsta” that I cry and hold the doors open for older ladies that I have manners and respect my elders that I have a 7 year daughter and grandma that is my number one who thinks I’m the shit if they only knew my ambitions. My mindset for success that I’m so much more than a “it” or an “animal” in a cage. If they only knew I love my people and have loyalty, respect and honesty that despite being judge so harshly I remain non-judgemental. That I’m easy to talk to and will keep it real with you when others won’t. That I’m the women that will show up when no one else will. With a gas can when your stuck on the side of the road. That I don’t prey on the weak or valuable( kids or older people). That I’m not a tattle tale because I learned that in grad school along with the ability to share anything I have.
That regardless of technology I still know how to drop a line and old school paper and still own a pen. I’m humble and I understand how it is and instead of finding excuses of how not to keep in contact, I’ll write on my grocery list while I’m shopping at the store and send it out list and all. I’m the rarity of a dying breed, despite the labels and stereotypes of people who just met me. Who gave that judge the right to label me when he just met me, despite my evil core, my heart is big and full of love and maybe that is what drives my passion of the ones I care about. Just because I have a vicious side don’t mean there isn’t 2 sides. There’s another side, My side, her side, his side, your side, life is all about how you see things in your own perception. All about how you talk to people and always trust your struggle for change can happen in an heartbeat. And one night could define our life. One person can change the world for this is our children’s future. And that’s what matters.
Despite my labels, I plan on being a success and living comfortable. Living on the streets handing out socks, give back to the people after I come up. I plan on working hard for a bright future despite the darkness of my past for I’m so much more than a change, I’m am change.