“People always say ” change is difficult.” Many give up on trying to make needed changes in their lives even when they are clearly on a road of self- destruction. However, my father used to say “In order for a person to begin walking down the road called change, a person must experience a life a life changing event. “Basically, a event that causes a person to see their lives for what they are: Broken.”
For me, change didn’t come for a long time. For one, there were too many people around me who, for one reason or another, would not tell me “like it is.” I was the “perfect one” and yet, out of four children, i was flawed greatly. Why? Because i always held my deepest emotions in. I never communicated anything deeper than the surface. I was “Mr. Fix It”!… Sadly, I was the one who needed fixing. I remember when my father died. I held it in. My marriage at the time was already struggling. Instead of dealing with martial problems, I stepped outside the marriage. Finally she had enough. My marriage died. I held it in. I was okay, right? Well, wrong.
Like Alice in Wonderland chasing the White Rabbit. I spiraled down a dark hole. On the outside, my life was placid. On the inside, I was my an imploding guy and when the implosion was over, all that remained was the devastating collateral damage my life cursed to others… And, prison.
No one would have told me that anything could come from prison. That was then. Now? Coming to prison was my life-changing event. However, change could not begin until I took account of my actions…”
To be continued.